so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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