my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
