One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
