so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
