Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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