I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
