Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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