Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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