You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
