I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
