Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
