i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
