her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
