Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
