oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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