so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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