i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
