Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
