you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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