Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are we still banned from the library?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
