are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize