He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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