How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
