Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
