whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
