i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
