I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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