Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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