You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
