K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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