epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
