Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
