You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
