you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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