She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
