bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
