He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
