She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
