i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
