i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
