i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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