yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize