Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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