8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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