he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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