It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
