You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
