Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
