Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
