I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
