Kiss
Puke
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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