cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
