my soul wont recognize me after tonight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
