i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
