dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
