On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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