I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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