Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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