it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
