I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
