some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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